Most People's Biggest Fear
Here’s the lesson. Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to judge you as harshly as you think. In fact, most people never think about you at all.
Most people's biggest fear isn't failure. It's being judged for trying.
When I talk to my clients in the early stages of their coaching journey, we often explore goals. And they often have a range of reasons why they can't achieve them.
In extreme cases I call this the "yes, but" game.
Yes, but, I don't have time.
Yes, but, people like me can't do that.
Yes, but, it's easy for her.
Yes, but, I am too old...
They are all excuses, used to mask the truth.
It’s the fear of being seen failing that keeps us stuck.
Yes, but, if I don't give the time, nobody will see me as a beginner.
Yes, but, my what will my social circle think if I mess up?
Yes, but, I'll have to start in the beginner's class.
Yes, but, I'm worried about losing my status.
But imagine what you would do if nobody could ever see you fail? If nobody could see your faltering baby steps? If you could wipe egg off your face before anyone sees?
You'd have a go, right?
Because you don’t actually fear falling short. You fear the sideways glances, the raised eyebrows, and the smirking, sing song "I told you so."
But here’s the lesson. Most people are too busy worrying about themselves to judge you as harshly as you think. In fact, most people never think about you at all.
So, do not hold back on going for what you want just because of a risk of embarrassment.
Do the opposite.
Go for it. Mess it up. Get up. Mess it up again. Get up. Keep. Going.
And you will find out something surprising and powerful. That trying and failing in public might be the bravest, most magnetic thing you can do.
Own what you are doing. Own your effort. Own your failures. Own your blushes and tears. Because that courage is the antidote to the fear of judgment.
Every single thing that you’ve ever admired was built by people who were not afraid to try. And they messed up a thousand times before it every worked.
Whatever is on your mind this week. Choose trying. Choose courage. Choose you.
If you need someone in the corner to help you start. Let me know 🤜🏻🤛🏻
Stephen
This Friday I am giving a wellbeing masterclass as part of HeRO Hour. If you want to know more about that, hit reply.