How To Give Things Up

In today's post I am going to tell you my number 1 tip for giving things up. Something you can apply immediately to help you with your New Year's resolutions.

Let me explain. You see, I've become good at giving things up in the last few years. Here's my scoreboard:

• Crisps/chips = 217 days
• Alcohol = 366 days
• Meat & Dairy = 1,096 days

In other words, I am getting better and better at casting off addictive things that are not good for me. At the same time as becoming the most boring dinner party guest in the world. I'm always good for a lift home though.

I wasn't always good at this sort of thing. I'd say to myself I wanted to stop eating something, last a few days, fall off the waggon and be worse than I was before. This is what behavioural scientists call "being human".

And so I needed to learn and apply new skills to help myself, and my clients. You see, people come to me for personal and professional development, but they often also want help with forming healthy habits too.

What I did was to combine coaching, psychology and neuroscience techniques and apply them in ways that really work for real people. For example, my personal coaching program includes lessons called "Habit Hacking" and "The Biology of Habits" alongside classic coaching staples as goal setting and accountability.

I've become a bit of a geek about this stuff!

But, we don't have time to teach you all that today. What you need is the most important tip of all, right? Well, here it is:

• Don't focus on what you want to give up. Focus on what you are gaining.

For example, don’t say to yourself you are giving up drinking, say you are choosing a sober lifestyle.

This works because it takes the emphasis away from the perceived negative and places it on the positive. In coaching we call that "reframing". It is a "towards" goal, rather than an "away from" goal, which is easier to maintain over time.

Because, the truth is, you don’t want to give up drinking, you want to have lots of days without hangovers, anxiety and bad skin.

You don't want to give up crisps, you want to feel better about yourself after eating.

Make sense? Good.

Now for extra brownie points, I want you to write down what it is you are gaining, how it will feel and why it matters to you. (This is another trick from neuroscience that increases your chances of success – BOGOF today, you're welcome.)

So, good luck with whatever it is you are trying to do. Feel free to forward this to anyone in your family or friends who is trying to give something up.

And if you want to know more, just hit reply and ask! I'd love to hear from you.

Happy 2025, Stephen

PS Did you know I also have a YouTube Channel where I share interviews and advice? Why not subscribe?