Don't Listen to Parrots & Don't be a Parrot
People who have unlocked this understanding of self are rare birds indeed in a world of social media flocks.
Most people parrot other people's thoughts without questioning them. So, if you want to have real agency, ask yourself this:
Why do I believe what I believe?
If you cannot answer that question, without reference to a doctrine, fashion or ideology, you don't really believe what you think you believe. You're probably just being swept along by something.
It's important to understand that we all do this. Unless we coach ourselves out of it. Or seek help to understand what we really think for ourselves.
We all join groups because they speak to a need that is unfulfilled in us. Which implies that we share some values with the group.
However, what then tends to happen is that our need to belong to the group stops us questioning whether we actually agree with all of the things the group stands for.
Think about people who join political parties or social movements because there's a particular issue they feel strongly about. But, down the line, they find themselves saying extreme things about other issues because that's the group position.
They haven't asked themselves why they believe the new thing, or even if they believe the new thing.
Or, they have realised that the social cost of disagreeing with the group is too high, so they go along with it anyway. And in the process they lose themselves.
Part of what I love about my approach to coaching is that I always start by helping people to understand who they really are at this stage of their lives. What their values are. What really matters. And so on.
Then, they can build from there with much more authenticity and power.
And that's what I meant when I talked about agency at the start of this post. People who have unlocked this understanding of self are rare birds indeed in a world of social media flocks. And when these people learn a new song, all of the parrots sing along with them.
So, how much longer do you want to wait, before you find your voice?
Have a great day, Stephen
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