Are Successful People Allowed to be Stressed?

A few weeks ago I had a lovely exchange with a client. Someone who is driven and hard-working. Perhaps a bit prone to perfectionism.

In the coaching process we talked about fun. And how that can relieve pressure. My client is a Liverpool fan and so we considered the example of Mo Salah.

If you don't follow football, Mo is one of the best footballers in the world. He's currently the leading goal scorer at a club which is top of the Premier League in England and top of the Champions League in Europe.

The reason I used him as an example is that I've watched what he does when he makes a mistake. When he misses a goal, fluffs a skill or skews a pass. What he does is that he smiles!

When you watch Salah play in the most daunting of stadia, he looks like he is having fun. I imagine that's because he is. Which I also imagine is part of what makes him great. He's handling pressure better than the rest.

A few days later, I shared this story of LinkedIn. People seemed to enjoy it. But one comment stood out.

"A multi multi millionaire. Whether he misses the penalty or scores it."

Now, I've had a lovely exchange with the person who posted this, to try and understand their perspective. I think I can see where they are coming from. Roughly, that success (particularly financial success) and status insulates people from pressure.

But, this is wrong.

I have the privilege to work with a lot of successful people. Some of them are financially successful, but all of them have status. You kind of need to to want an executive coach, right?

And so I know that the pressure increases the more successful you are. Which means, our capacity to handle ourselves under that pressure is vital.

Now, I am going to make an assumption about you. The fact that you read my blogs tells me that you are successful. Or, you are ambitious. You probably have Type-A traits:

"A type A person is someone who has a personality characterized by traits like ambition, competitiveness, and drive. People with type A personalities are often high-achieving, organized, and perfectionistic. However, they can also be impatient, hostile, and have trouble relaxing."

But here's the bind. Nobody has any sympathy for Type-A people with Type-A problems do they?

Nobody has sympathy for wealthy footballers when they crumble under the weight of expectation. And nobody has sympathy for you if the stress you put yourself under gets a bit too much.

Well, that's not quite true.

I have sympathy for you. The world needs people like you with drive and ambition to make things better or nothing would ever improve. But it does come at a cost. And that cost is real

So, just know this. I care. I'm here. And if you want to reach out, do.

But what I'd rather you did is this. Take some more high pressure shots at your goals and if you miss, laugh. The pressure decreases the moment you remember that life and work is all a big game. And so the best way to approach it, is to play.

Have a brilliant day, Stephen

This Friday at 12 (UK), my weekly HeRO Hour talk will be about Wellbeing for Successful People. You can sign up for free here.